Saturday, March 27, 2010

From SAHM to WM -- How in the world did that happen?

It started innocently enough with me reading an ad for a part-time office worker in our church bulletin. The ad said perfect for a stay at home mom. So I applied despite not really wanting work. A few weeks went by and I assumed my resume made its way to the circular file. Then I got a call from a woman telling me she would like to meet with me about the part time job. Yikes! What have I done?

We met one afternoon in the local Starbucks. For whatever reason interviewing always brings out the competitor in me. As a rule I am not competitive and I never participated in any competitive sport. The interview however makes me say and behave in a way to get the job at all costs. I am a champion at getting the job and then comes the quandary--did I even want the job?

Here I was sitting in Starbucks doing a bang up job selling myself and my multitude of skills and talents. She seemed absolutely delighted and told me she would call to set up an interview with her husband--the owner of the company.

Again a couple of weeks passed and I foolishly assumed that they had found someone else for the job. Then she called again and set up the meeting, and then cancelled it, then rescheduled, then cancelled and then rescheduled again. Finally, we met and again I went into super sell mode. He too was delighted.

Another couple of weeks go by and the call I dreaded came. "We would like to offer you the job." I hear myself despite of myself say "I am so excited that is wonderful." It was as if someone else was speaking for me. We agreed I would start in a week.

All week I thought about it....I don't want to work, but how can I pass this up? So I spend my last SAHM week doing regular SAHM things. Monday morning I was nervous and grumpy. I haven't worked for NINE years. What have I done? Why am I doing this?

I go to work and my new boss is late. She is so incredibly disorganized I sit and listen her try to find something for me to do. I do not have a good feeling about this.

The next day she sends me to Office Max to return something. As I walk out I realize I forgot my glasses. I can't believe it how do I forget my glasses. Hello I am fixated with my glasses. So I have to run into Michael's and buy a pair of readers to get through the day. This is not a good omen.

The next day again she is late, but I have a key and the code for the alarm. I let myself in and sit down. Who gives someone they barely know a key and their alarm code? That is just crazy if you ask me. So I sit and I wait for her. She arrives an hour or so later with a GIANT hole in her pants. Quick, quick I have to listen to my inner voice. Do I tell her or pretend I don't notice. Her panties are pink...still thinking. Then I hear that damn voice again..."Oh no you must have caught your pants on something they are torn." My inner voice is so tactful. Really she split her pants. She shares with me that she knew the pants were ripped but she put them in her closet and forgot about it and put them on this morning. We chuckle and the routine of trying to find something for me to do commences.

The rest of the week goes pretty much the same. She arrives late and then has to run back out for something. Days pass and it is finally Friday. I made it a whole week! Yeah for me. How long will this last? I'm not sure. So far I miss being being a SAHM but friends keep telling me how great this is for me...only time will tell.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

This is Construction; We're Not Making Dolls

I love this quote. Cindy Stumpo will be featured on HGTV. I love that she has a career that is not typically one that women pick. Secretly I always wanted to be a truck driver or a Cypress Gardens water skier. I wanted to be a water skier long before the Go Go's used it on their album cover too! I never wanted to make dolls.

At this point I think my future at Cypress Gardens is pretty limited but I can still think about driving a big rig. There are few problems with that plan as well though. I'm great at going straight but if I had to back down a long road there could be trouble so I have another idea. I think I want to drive an escort vehicle. You know those vehicles that follow the WIDE LOAD. That I could do. It's sort of like the legal version of Smokey and the Bandit, which was another one of my career ideas; breaker, breaker it's Alice come on back...

Saturday, March 6, 2010

What's New?-- A Lot!

Facebook has presented me with a whole bunch of new social dilemmas. When I opened my FB account I thought "great a place to re-connect with people" and it is, but...

It's also the scene of kooks, stalkers, weirdos and wannabes. Just last week someone who went to the same college as me sent me a friend request. I don't know this person, but I guess because we have the college connection he felt we could be friends. For a few minutes I reached into my memory and tried to figure out if I actually did know him but somehow forgot him. No I don't think so. Those who do know me, know I have a freakishly good memory. So now he has presented me with a dilemma. Do I ignore him, friend him or as my closest friend insists "X" him out! Ultimately I decided to just ignore him. It seems like the least nasty way to say "hey I don't really want to be your friend."

Also what's up with people friending you that you were never friends with. Just because you have some connection in life does not make you a friend. People who were not my friends in high school should not try to friend me now. It's decades too late folks.

I sent a friend request to a co-worker I haven't seen nor spoken to in many years and I waited to be confirmed. Each day that passed, I thought about reasons why she might not want to connect with me. Finally, when she confirmed me I felt a great sense of relief. We exchanged the OMG how are you posts and now what? Are we really going to re-connect? I doubt it. I think for a lot of us we have this odd curiosity to see what happened to these people from our past and to find out if we are doing better than they are.

For some people the number of friends is extremely important. I have a couple of people on my friend list who have 100s of friends. Come on are you really connecting with all these people. I'll admit it when I first joined I was tempted to "friend" all the people with my same last name who sent me friend requests and then I realized how ridiculous that would be.

My close friend decides early on if she will keep a newly friended member. If she has no contact with them for a specified amount of time she simply "unfriends" them. To me that seems a little harsh.... oh please don't unfriend me! She told me one day how my friend number had gone down by one because her mother had dropped off. I didn't notice but now I check that number daily just to make sure no one else has dropped me. To be dropped is the ultimate FB insult. I have on a couple of occasions turned a few people off... you know let me see less of ...Jane Doe. This is the less obvious way to get rid of people you don't want to hear from. Also this way you can pop in on them every once in a while just to see if by some miracle they've changed.

Last week a friend and I friended someone we used to work with. She went first and then me. Whew he confirmed both of us pretty quickly. I sent him the short little great to see you what's new message. His response seemed snotty. To my what's new he answered a lot! What does that even mean. Now I'm trying to decide does he just not know how to make small talk on FB or is he annoyed. Back to my memory...was I mean to him, did we end our work relationship on a sour note. I don't think so but maybe I did. My no nonsense friend has decided she may have to unfriend him soon because she doubts he will interact any more.

I've also turned looking for people on FB into a sport. Some people I would have bet would be on are just not. Some people I wish weren't are. I love, love, love the fact that some people just ignore all the FB warnings to privatize their walls and pictures. I'm able to look at some people without friending them at all...I know I'm sounding strangely stalkerish. Relax it's just for fun.

Then there are the gamers. If one more person sends a virtual flower, heart or hug I may puke! I'm tired of all the surveys...I really don't care what sitcom mom I'm most like. I'm also tired of the farming, fish tending set. I do not care that you have leveled up in the game. Truth be told I play, but I don't post each and every move I make. Get a life ...Start a blog!