Facebook has presented me with a whole bunch of new social dilemmas. When I opened my FB account I thought "great a place to re-connect with people" and it is, but...
It's also the scene of kooks, stalkers, weirdos and wannabes. Just last week someone who went to the same college as me sent me a friend request. I don't know this person, but I guess because we have the college connection he felt we could be friends. For a few minutes I reached into my memory and tried to figure out if I actually did know him but somehow forgot him. No I don't think so. Those who do know me, know I have a freakishly good memory. So now he has presented me with a dilemma. Do I ignore him, friend him or as my closest friend insists "X" him out! Ultimately I decided to just ignore him. It seems like the least nasty way to say "hey I don't really want to be your friend."
Also what's up with people friending you that you were never friends with. Just because you have some connection in life does not make you a friend. People who were not my friends in high school should not try to friend me now. It's decades too late folks.
I sent a friend request to a co-worker I haven't seen nor spoken to in many years and I waited to be confirmed. Each day that passed, I thought about reasons why she might not want to connect with me. Finally, when she confirmed me I felt a great sense of relief. We exchanged the OMG how are you posts and now what? Are we really going to re-connect? I doubt it. I think for a lot of us we have this odd curiosity to see what happened to these people from our past and to find out if we are doing better than they are.
For some people the number of friends is extremely important. I have a couple of people on my friend list who have 100s of friends. Come on are you really connecting with all these people. I'll admit it when I first joined I was tempted to "friend" all the people with my same last name who sent me friend requests and then I realized how ridiculous that would be.
My close friend decides early on if she will keep a newly friended member. If she has no contact with them for a specified amount of time she simply "unfriends" them. To me that seems a little harsh.... oh please don't unfriend me! She told me one day how my friend number had gone down by one because her mother had dropped off. I didn't notice but now I check that number daily just to make sure no one else has dropped me. To be dropped is the ultimate FB insult. I have on a couple of occasions turned a few people off... you know let me see less of ...Jane Doe. This is the less obvious way to get rid of people you don't want to hear from. Also this way you can pop in on them every once in a while just to see if by some miracle they've changed.
Last week a friend and I friended someone we used to work with. She went first and then me. Whew he confirmed both of us pretty quickly. I sent him the short little great to see you what's new message. His response seemed snotty. To my what's new he answered a lot! What does that even mean. Now I'm trying to decide does he just not know how to make small talk on FB or is he annoyed. Back to my memory...was I mean to him, did we end our work relationship on a sour note. I don't think so but maybe I did. My no nonsense friend has decided she may have to unfriend him soon because she doubts he will interact any more.
I've also turned looking for people on FB into a sport. Some people I would have bet would be on are just not. Some people I wish weren't are. I love, love, love the fact that some people just ignore all the FB warnings to privatize their walls and pictures. I'm able to look at some people without friending them at all...I know I'm sounding strangely stalkerish. Relax it's just for fun.
Then there are the gamers. If one more person sends a virtual flower, heart or hug I may puke! I'm tired of all the surveys...I really don't care what sitcom mom I'm most like. I'm also tired of the farming, fish tending set. I do not care that you have leveled up in the game. Truth be told I play, but I don't post each and every move I make. Get a life ...Start a blog!